Sixteen Weeks
It feels so nostalgic to be writing a pregnancy update right now. Life looks quite a bit different than it did 3 years ago, when I was expecting our daughter, Sage. Expecting a baby in 2020-2021 is layered with complicated emotions. We’re in the midst of a global pandemic that has forced us to isolate from those we love to stay safe and serious civil unrest that has brought so much brokenness to light. Most days feel very heavy right now, but carrying this little life has given me strength and renewed hope in the future. More than ever, I am motivated to build a better future, not just for our children but for all children.
How and when I found out
We knew we wanted a second child for a long time, but with all of the uncertainty at the beginning of last year we decided to wait. It was hard being emotionally ready to grow our family but unsure if and when it would feel safe or responsible for us to proceed. Deciding to try for a baby is such a personal decision with so many different factors and considerations for each couple. Ultimately, around the end of summer we got to the point where our concerns and hesitations no longer outweighed our desire to start trying for a baby.
The way the timing worked out, our seventh wedding anniversary on October 12th was towards the end of a “two week wait”. Anthony had taken the day off work to spend together and I thought it would be so romantic to find out we were having our second on our anniversary! It was still early, but by that point in my first pregnancy I had gotten a positive test. So when I tested that morning and got a negative, I was disappointed. At that point I assumed it just hadn’t happened for us that cycle. The next morning, just after Anthony left for work I tested again to be sure. A faint second line appeared and I remember being genuinely surprised and thinking to myself, “Here we go again”! I did the math and realized I would be due around the end of June, just after Sage’s third birthday. I felt so happy and grateful and relieved.
Telling my husband & daughter
I wasn’t planning to surprise Anthony with the news, but I also didn’t want to text or call him at work to tell him something this big. So I decided to wait until he got home that afternoon to tell him, which was not easy! I was so excited, I ended up telling Sage first. I said, “Sage, I have a secret to tell you. There’s a baby in mama’s belly”! Her eyes got so big and she said “Can I hold it?" then pretended to take the baby out of my belly and hold it in her hands. It made my heart melt - she was so sweet! It felt really special to have it be our little secret for a few hours.
I had forgotten to get Anthony a card for our anniversary the day before, but we have a little notebook that we’ve written letters for each other in for previous holidays and anniversaries and sometimes just because. I pulled it out and turned over a new page. At the end of my letter, I wrote: In all the excitement yesterday, I forgot to write you an anniversary note in here. But it turns out, your gift was a day late too. Happy Anniversary, my love. We’re having another baby! When he got home later that day, I handed the notebook to him saying I was sorry that I forgot to write him something on our actual anniversary. When he got to the end he smiled real big and said “Really”?! He was so excited and I was so happy that I managed to actually surprise him.
The morning I found out - my belly around 11 weeks - the first sonogram
Symptoms & what helped
The first few weeks, I was mostly just really exhausted and averse to pretty much all food. I was very sick during my first pregnancy, so this time when the nausea and vomiting started I began taking medication right away. With a toddler to take care of, I didn’t want to feel any worse than I had to. What ended up working well for me was taking half a unisom and vitamin b6 along with my prenatal vitamins at bedtime. Eating protein every 2-3 hours helped with the nausea too. I still threw up from about 8 weeks until 14 weeks but it was much less frequently than last time (I was puking until 17/18 weeks even though I was on prescription anti-nausea meds then), which I’m grateful for!
My cravings have been different this time - with Sage I craved lots of fruit and sweets and with this baby, I went through a period of time where all I wanted to eat was cheese, bread and salty things. Eating any kind of meat gives me instant heartburn, which didn’t start until much later in my last pregnancy but as I’m finding out, everything kind of happens sooner with your second. I’ve already had round ligament pain and I felt the first little flutters of movement around 13/14 weeks. Also, my boobs have been much more sore this time. I wake up some mornings feeling almost painfully engorged which didn’t happen last time.
How big sister is handling the news
Sage’s initial excitement definitely turned to apprehension for a period of time. There were a couple weeks were she would pretend to take the baby out of my belly and throw it on the floor, saying “No baby”! My older sister gave me the wise advice to just lay off the baby talk for a week or two and let her adjust to the idea. Luckily that stage didn’t last for very long. My younger sister and best friend gifted her some books about becoming a big sister for Christmas and she requests to read those every night at bed time. She talks about the baby a lot now and will cuddle my belly or pretend to tickle the baby. We nicknamed the baby “Baby Bluebird” after she called it that once, but now she says she wants to name it Minnie Mouse. It’s really sweet to see her connecting with her little sibling already. I know seeing them together for the first time will explode my heart into a million tiny pieces. I know there will be an adjustment period for everyone once the baby is here, but I’m really looking forward to watching our children grow up together.
Baby Bluebird, we are so excited to welcome you into our family!
