How I'm Wintering This Season
Winter has held a different kind of magic for me in the years since I started prioritizing slow and seasonal living. The simple act of observing the changing seasons really helps me to feel more present and grounded. It’s the small, precious things, like the feeling of inhaling my first breath of frosty air as I step outside each morning, cooking hearty soups and stews for weeknight dinners, and running outside with my pajama-clad children at the first sign of snow to catch snowflakes on our tongues.
Being present and open is the foundation, and from there, I feel inspired to reflect deeper and set about aligning my own energy with the spirit of the season and the lessons it has to offer. This part isn’t a straightforward process. I’ve found that what works for me is to use the start of a new season as a reset - a reminder to make more time for quiet contemplation, follow the intuitive breadcrumbs down whatever winding forest pathway they lead, and feel my way into the kind of gentle, curious action that delivers new information and perspectives. Then, as the midpoint of the season approaches, I feel better equipped to process and begin putting my discoveries into words.
My garden has been such a powerful teacher for me, and this winter, the image that keeps returning to my mind is overwintering – specifically regarding the process of supporting tender perennial plants through the freezing temperatures of winter, often by applying a protective layer of mulch. Extra care is given to these plants during a time when on the surface, it may seem like they aren’t doing anything at all. They are likely dormant, and not producing new leaves. They may not even be green but rather shriveled, brown, and dead-looking. But while above the soil, the plant is resting, beneath, at the root level, the plant is conserving energy and continuing to take up nutrients that will nourish it through the next growing season.
This is how I am approaching winter this year. I’m accepting the invitation to go inward and disappear from the outer world for a bit, to not worry about appearances or productivity, and just focus on being for a while. So in practical terms, this looks like leaving as much white space as possible in our calendar and taking any chance I can get for rest and for gentle activities that feel calming and restorative. I’m also prioritizing time alone now, knowing that I will naturally feel more social when the Earth is reborn in spring. Most of all, I’m taking time to reflect on what I need and what nourishment I can give myself to best serve me through the coming year.
The following words aren’t meant to be prescriptive. Wintering looks different from person to person and from year to year. But I wanted to share a look into my life this season in the hope that it will offer affirmation to you as you find your own way.
Here’s how I am wintering this season:
Reading for pleasure, for knowledge, and to prepare my heart and mind for the responsibilities I’ll have as a community tender this coming year. I finally treated myself to an audible subscription and have been listening to fiction while I’m taking care of household tasks. Whenever I can carve out quiet time for reading with a book in hand, I’m working my way through my stack of non-fiction, some longtime favorites I’m re-reading and diving deeper into and some new material.
On my winter reading list:
On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good by Elise Loehnen (recommended/loaned to me by Sara Hummer!)
Maiden to Mother: Unlocking Our Archetypal Journey into the Mature Feminine by Sarah Durham Wilson
Circular Leadership: Together We Rise by Linda Roebuck
Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarrissa Pinkola Estes (I pick this up all through the year, opening to a random page and reading that chapter)
Shop my favorite books on Bookshop.org
Re-organizing all of our closets and drawing labeled diagrams to hang inside showing where everything goes. This may read like a productivity-oriented New Years Resolution, but that’s not where my head is at all. It’s about valuing myself and the work I do to create functional household systems by removing the barriers that keep my family sharing in the work to maintain them. This is not a glamorous home improvement project, but I am already starting to see the benefits in reducing my mental load and the amount of time spent answering questions and looking for things. So far I have 4 closets done and 4 to go!
Next on my list:
Sam Kelly’s free guide on how to teach kids to “notice & do” around the house
The Fair Play Deck, Eve Rodsky’s system to help couples balance household tasks
Putting myself first by setting new boundaries around my time and energy. I’m on a very long-term journey of learning how to not set unrealistic expectations for myself. (You can read the first post I ever wrote about recovering from perfectionism, here.) Towards the end of this fall, I was struck with the life-changing realization that if I ever want to feel happy and successful, I have to stop spreading myself too thin and setting myself up to feel like a failure. (Thank you, therapy!) We all have our own unique challenges and limitations, and I am finally accepting that what my brain thinks I should be able to do and what I actually realistically can accomplish are two different things. Over the last few months, I’ve quit some things that I really did enjoy, but on the whole were throwing off my balance and stacking up to more that I can reasonably take on in this season of my life. It was really hard to feel like I was letting other people down, but now that I’m on the other side, I feel so much relief and clarity about what is most important to me moving forward. It’s like a piece of the puzzle has clicked into place. I already understood how to love myself by offering self-compassion, but now I am learning how to love myself by making empowered choices from a place of self-respect.
Things that have been helpful:
What I’ve Learned About Choosing Myself from @diaryofanhonestmom
“There is a critical mass of productivity you can do well, and if you cross it, even by like 2%, suddenly 100% of your work is going to suck”...and more thoughts on the very real sacrifices we have to make to give the things we choose the energy they deserve from Tara McGowan-Ross